I'm sorry if my sassiness offends you.

Yes, I really am. Sometimes. Other times, I just think if you're offended you really should buck up. I don't intend to be mean---though I do intend to be sassy if I'm in the mood. However, I don't like that I hurt people's feelings on occasion. That sucks, and I feel badly about that. So I'm sorry. (Really, though, you should be able to take it. Unless I am actually being a jerk, in which case please tell me and I will properly apologize and try my best to act better in the future.)

Does all this make me sound like a loser? I think it might. Oh well.